I was at the Naval Base in San Diego, but I did manage to find some time on the weekend to sit on some cliffs facing the Pacific Ocean. It was high tide, and the water was slamming into the base of the cliffs where I was sitting at, about eight feet below me. Occasionally, the water would rise and topple over the edge of the cliff, spraying me with salt water. I could also feel the ground "bump" me, when a strong wave directly hit the rocks below me.

I didn't read the coaching assignment yet, but I lost all sense of self. I'm always awed by the power of the sea, and this time was no exception. It wasn't me anymore, but just the raw energy of the ocean, crashing into a wall of rocks.

Who am I? I don't know, or perhaps, I don't want to know. Facing the truth may be more difficult then accepting the current falsehoods of my life. Yet, I can't keep the truth from peeking out, looking at me like a puppy dog trustingly looks at it's master.

The true nature of the self isn't attached to a lifestyle or thing. Once you understand your nature it can be fully realized in a variety of ways. There are certain things you are naturally drawn to, but like the mathematician who can apply his math to many subject areas, once you understand your nature, you can apply it to many areas of your life. Creativity is not just for the artist.

So what do I want to do? I don't know, things are always unfolding, emerging from the background noise. I have taken some paths which were not fruitful, and I'm constantly striving to stay on-the-path. Downloading other people's ideas is a way to stray far. A career can also take you away from your true nature.

I have many options to explore, and many options which I would like to explore, but shouldn't. These options fool me into thinking this is me, but they are like devils dancing around as angels. They laugh at my expense.

My nature? I know much math, engineering and science, but these might be false paths. I'm drawn to the humanities, throwing clay pots on a wheel not as a pastime, but as a lifeline. But there's something else there, using technology with, not against, the humanities. Technologies used as an extension of the human psyche, not as an example of clever left-brained thinking.